Father Doesn’t Know Best

Like a moth to the flame, I can’t help but write about the forbidden.

Diahan and I never argue – really, never. Our secret (besides low expectations and very aggressive anger therapy) is a deep respect for each other and HIS many weaknesses.

But mostly, we just don’t talk about taboo subjects.

UNTIL NOW!

Actually, Diahan’s out of town, I’m bored out of my gourd and I haven’t blogged in many moons. Anything’s fair game.

I didn’t grow up with the Berenstain Bears (BB) on account that my parents didn’t read to me, and I am a boy. I you are a boy and grew up on BB, don’t read anything into my previous statement.

Diahan, on the other hand, not only was read BB by her parents, but also maintains a gi-normous collection of rare and vintage BB books.

This is not the type of collection that stays locked up in acid free baggies. Sadly, no. Instead, our boys are being raised on a steady stream of BB drivel. (And I do worry about the long term effects.)

Of  course, I refuse to participate in the methodical indoctrination of our children. When it is my turn to read bedtime stories, the boys know that Daddy won’t read BB.

Boys: Why won’t you read BB?

Me: Principle. I’ll explain it to you when you are older. Pick another book, please.

Boys: The principal told you not to?

My reasoning, ultimately, comes down to Papa Bear. He’s like the Archie Bunker or Homer Simpson of children’s books. I understand that Homer Simpson is the buffoonish caricature of the American Dad – and I love Homer Simpson – but the show is meant for adults as satire.

Papa Bear, on the other hand, continues the inept father figure parody – but to the wrong audience. And sometimes I doubt it’s a parody (see example below).

Kids, many of whom already lack a strong father figure in real life and especially in the media, are done a disservice by seeing Papa Bear as the intra-family antagonist and perennial holdout to change.

Considering the widespread emasculation of men in society, it is too bad that young boys and girls see another prominent father figure as virtually useless.

There is no doubting the many positive aspects to the BB books. Change is a constant theme in the BB books. See: BB and the Giddy Grandma (grandpa bear is actually the bad guy: same diff), BB and the New Girl in Town, BB and the Trouble with Commercials?!, and The Birds, the Bees and the BB. These are just a few of my favorites.

However, as the BB books attempt to recreate virtually every awkward life situation, Papa Bear is nearly always portrayed as the imbecilic, ignorant, half-witted, unreasonable, doltish simpleton. 

The most egregious example is The BBs’ New Neighbors.

Bear Country and the BB have new neighbors: Chinese . . . er . . . Pandas! While Mama and the kids are excited, Papa Bear won’t stand for Pandas next door. Especially Pandas who build a “spite fence.” No special honey for them! Fortunately for Papa Bear, a meet-and-greet is arranged and that Papa Panda is really a nice guy – for a Chi . . . Panda.

Add racist to the above list of less-than-desirable qualities.

I know we men are thick, but that is not what I want reinforced at bedtime. So my question is “Why Papa?”

Asides & Provisos

• Granted, the books were written as a response to the post-WWII, Ozzie and Harriet environment. Unfortunately in the authors’ quest for “realism,” what resulted was the marginalization of Papa Bear while continuing to narrowly define gender roles. 
• Another theory is that the books are inseparably tied to the authors’ personal and cultural experiences. I have read that the Berenstains said the books and the characters therein reflect their own personalities.
• So, that is to say, there might have been more truth to the Papa Bear persona then than today, if you belief that many of the traits exhibited by Papa Bear were more acceptable in generations past. I have certainly seen my fair share of cultural curmudgeonism seen in the generations.
• For every complaint about Papa Bear, there are historically more complaints about Mama Bear as the ever-wise, always home matriarch.
• I won’t go there.

I know. I know. It is just a book and I should chill out. It’s not worth arguing over . . . just blogging.